Open to the Onus

mental health


You may be thinking ‘Why would I WANT to be Open to the onus?’ An onus is after all basically a really shitty task, burden, or obligation.

That sounds awful. Right? It is if you choose to let it be awful. And that decision it completely up to you. Believe me, as I walk through my personality and depressive disorders, I’ve chosen to let that onus be really crappy more often than not, because for me, I’ve lived a life full of onuses that I’ve had to deal with while my brain is broken, which means, even though it may seem completely backwards, I’m comfortable in that uncomfortable space.

Today, for me, being open to my onus was choosing to say ‘yes’ to having coffee with a very dear friend of mine. You might say ‘But, that’s not a burden. That’s not an obligation. That’s fun and uplifting!’ On the contrary — to me, and my broke (but mending) brain it’s a scary, socially awkward, worrisome, new, anxiety-filled burden. An onus, if you will.

BUT! By being open to that onus today, I was able to be filled with the beautiful heart to heart conversation that connects this friend of mine by the soul. She may not know it, but she showed me several things today about being open to my onus:

• Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, even to a friend you call a sister, is not weakness. It’s beauty. It’s trust. And because of who she is, she helped me gain confidence today in my walk of life.

• Allowing yourself to be open, opens doors. And what better welcome than a much needed soul connection over some delicious coffee. It opens the door to freedom. For me, it’s freedom from isolation. My disease makes isolation feel like a warm comfy blanket that I want to wrap up in for days… until I realize, this blanket is making me miss out on life. Thank you, friend, for greeting me at the door.

• Openness isn’t all glitter and rainbows. But, when it is, it creates in you a grateful heart for those times.

• An open soul allows for character growth. I see my character as the armor I carry around throughout my life… always adding to it, sometimes getting scratches in it, but always building from those scratches. When you allow yourself to be open to whatever life throws your way, yes, you may get knocked down some times, but the other adventures, you GROW! You get stronger!

Yes. Coffee with my dear friend today was a wonderful and enlightening experience. Yes, the maple latte was delicious. Yes, I will have stumbles. No, I will not let those take me back to where I’ve started. And yes, I got all of this from a simple coffee date.

So, if I can do it, I know you can. Say yes to being open to that onus. See beyond the burden to the beauty it holds. Say yes to growth, and character building. Say yes to that coffee date you’ve been putting off for way too long.



2 thoughts on “Open to the Onus

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s