3 Peace Producers You Need

mental health

peace

I needed to release things today. Let go of them. Say ‘hit the road jack, and don’t come back.’ The willing release of things that don’t serve you is a practice that reaps positive rewards. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Here are 3 things that help me find, produce, and keep my peace:
• Letting go. Life is going to happen whether I worry about it or not. Often times, I find a lot of my anxiety comes from trying to control too much. Now, it’s human nature for me to try to control, so learning to let go can sometimes be similar to pulling teeth. But, when I get that balance between the future, and the past, it equals the present, and being in the present is worth all the toil and trouble to get there. Surprisingly, letting go offers me a sense of stability, the complete opposite of what I think it would offer. This stability grows into contentment, and contentment grows into a vast and structured peace.

Anxiety: The Good Space

mental health

happyplace

A large part of my anxiety comes from my ‘hurry-up’ offense, my ‘point A to point B’, my ‘get to the finish line as fast as I can’. So many times, I catch myself focusing so incredibly hard on what the finish will feel like, that I completely lose touch with the journey to get to the finish, which is where the magic happens.

My yoga practice forced me to take a long, easy, quiet look at that journey, that magic, today. Of course, I had no idea I needed to slow down and appreciate where I was until I was frustrated on my mat throwing a tantrum, because that’s just how I roll. #stubbornashell

I Battle Anxiety, Don’t Tell Me to Relax.

mental health

crazyAnxiety is a mental illness, and I get to battle it daily (along with many others).

TRUTH (a wonderful infographic to read, if you’re interested in more understanding can be found at the Mental Health America website:
NO. It’s not nervousness about a coming event.
NO. It’s not from too much caffeine consumption.
NO. It’s not attention-seeking.
YES. It’s me analyzing EVERYTHING.
YES. It’s a negative voice that follows me EVERYWHERE.
YES. I am constantly overcoming fears and worries to battle it.
And no, I’m not ashamed (nor should you be). This is real. Let’s talk about it.

Dealing with BPD: Don’t Touch My Naptime

mental health

nap

I stumbled across a Pinterest post that struck a chord. First, let’s get the basics down:

Yes. I’m diagnosed with Bipolar.
Yes. My bipolar is paired with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
No. I do not use my diagnosis as an excuse, but rather as a challenge to change the discussion around mental illness. It’s not a taboo subject. Do not be ashamed. And don’t be afraid to ask questions!

One Year, Our Year

mental health

wedding

Our very first wedding anniversary.

It’s hard for me to believe a year, 365 days, has already come, and that we’ve survived a year of marriage already. This year has NOT been easy, pretty, or fun. Honestly, it’s been a shit show.

We’ve dealt with death of a loved one, unemployment, instability, growing in our faith, and financial hardship. I know we both expected to work at this, but never expected it to take this much work.

Distorted Reality

mental health

mentalhealth

Hello beautiful writing community. I’ve been out of commission for a minute.

My husband’s grandfather, a man who I had the pleasure of getting close to, Pa – passed away July 1st. It was a bittersweet event that will be with me for the rest of my life. It was a blessing and an honor to stand next to him as he took his last breath. He was a beautiful man, and he will be missed. So I’m dedicating this post to him… Pa.

Being a survivor of depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, I’ve realized through this struggle with grief, which is very new to me, that I fight with assimilating in order to make everyone around me happy. Along with this realization, I have also discovered that there is absolutely nothing False about any one person’s way of grieving.

Weary Traveler

mental health

travel

As I sit here on the floor next to the closest outlet I could find /because we all know outlets are like gold among airports/ I reflect on what it means to be a traveler on a Voyage.

A voyage can be many things. A vacation. A business trip. A road trip. A kayaking trip. Mine happened to be a business trip, and while some might lose sight of the positive aspects of a business trip – this trip has reminded me how blessed I am.

Blessing #1: I have a company willing to invest their time and money in me and furthering my education on the products I deal with as a graphic designer for them. I love my job /not every day is perfect, but for the most part, I’m in love/ and always look for way to improve my view of what I work with.

Open to the Onus

mental health

open

You may be thinking ‘Why would I WANT to be Open to the onus?’ An onus is after all basically a really shitty task, burden, or obligation.

That sounds awful. Right? It is if you choose to let it be awful. And that decision it completely up to you. Believe me, as I walk through my personality and depressive disorders, I’ve chosen to let that onus be really crappy more often than not, because for me, I’ve lived a life full of onuses that I’ve had to deal with while my brain is broken, which means, even though it may seem completely backwards, I’m comfortable in that uncomfortable space.

Today, for me, being open to my onus was choosing to say ‘yes’ to having coffee with a very dear friend of mine. You might say ‘But, that’s not a burden. That’s not an obligation. That’s fun and uplifting!’ On the contrary — to me, and my broke (but mending) brain it’s a scary, socially awkward, worrisome, new, anxiety-filled burden. An onus, if you will.

Transformation Takes Two

mental health

diverse

Transformation

Well, if that isn’t a loaded topic, I don’t know what is.

But, we can do this, together. Here we go.

Transformation can be a difficult thing to imagine, see, and especially do. At this moment in my life, I’ve felt that I’ve been on the verge of transformation for some time. Now, things around me, my relationships, my hobbies, I’ve seen them transform— now, I believe it’s my turn. I want, more than anything, to safely lose the weight I’ve packed on over the years, and keep it off. Before that happens though, I now know that it can’t be just another fad diet or complete restriction—it has to come from within me.