Why The Unicorn Is My Spirit Animal

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The story of my life is an elusive one. Some parts ai remember, other parts are locked in a prison far far away. I don’t mind it. I just figure some parts aren’t supposed to surface until just the right time.

Other memories pop up like fire crackers when I’m least expecting them. I imagine a unicorn transcends time. It’s cool all the time. I like to think the unicorn is tough on the outside while on the inside, it is filled with confetti-like glitter. Sometimes, that glitter is all sitting at the bottom like pennies at the bottom of a piggy bank, but sometimes, when something super magical happens, it floats around like balloons at a party.

3 Peace Producers You Need

mental health

peace

I needed to release things today. Let go of them. Say ‘hit the road jack, and don’t come back.’ The willing release of things that don’t serve you is a practice that reaps positive rewards. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Here are 3 things that help me find, produce, and keep my peace:
• Letting go. Life is going to happen whether I worry about it or not. Often times, I find a lot of my anxiety comes from trying to control too much. Now, it’s human nature for me to try to control, so learning to let go can sometimes be similar to pulling teeth. But, when I get that balance between the future, and the past, it equals the present, and being in the present is worth all the toil and trouble to get there. Surprisingly, letting go offers me a sense of stability, the complete opposite of what I think it would offer. This stability grows into contentment, and contentment grows into a vast and structured peace.

Anxiety: The Good Space

mental health

happyplace

A large part of my anxiety comes from my ‘hurry-up’ offense, my ‘point A to point B’, my ‘get to the finish line as fast as I can’. So many times, I catch myself focusing so incredibly hard on what the finish will feel like, that I completely lose touch with the journey to get to the finish, which is where the magic happens.

My yoga practice forced me to take a long, easy, quiet look at that journey, that magic, today. Of course, I had no idea I needed to slow down and appreciate where I was until I was frustrated on my mat throwing a tantrum, because that’s just how I roll. #stubbornashell

I Battle Anxiety, Don’t Tell Me to Relax.

mental health

crazyAnxiety is a mental illness, and I get to battle it daily (along with many others).

TRUTH (a wonderful infographic to read, if you’re interested in more understanding can be found at the Mental Health America website:
NO. It’s not nervousness about a coming event.
NO. It’s not from too much caffeine consumption.
NO. It’s not attention-seeking.
YES. It’s me analyzing EVERYTHING.
YES. It’s a negative voice that follows me EVERYWHERE.
YES. I am constantly overcoming fears and worries to battle it.
And no, I’m not ashamed (nor should you be). This is real. Let’s talk about it.

Dealing with BPD: Don’t Touch My Naptime

mental health

nap

I stumbled across a Pinterest post that struck a chord. First, let’s get the basics down:

Yes. I’m diagnosed with Bipolar.
Yes. My bipolar is paired with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
No. I do not use my diagnosis as an excuse, but rather as a challenge to change the discussion around mental illness. It’s not a taboo subject. Do not be ashamed. And don’t be afraid to ask questions!

One Year, Our Year

mental health

wedding

Our very first wedding anniversary.

It’s hard for me to believe a year, 365 days, has already come, and that we’ve survived a year of marriage already. This year has NOT been easy, pretty, or fun. Honestly, it’s been a shit show.

We’ve dealt with death of a loved one, unemployment, instability, growing in our faith, and financial hardship. I know we both expected to work at this, but never expected it to take this much work.

Distorted Reality

mental health

mentalhealth

Hello beautiful writing community. I’ve been out of commission for a minute.

My husband’s grandfather, a man who I had the pleasure of getting close to, Pa – passed away July 1st. It was a bittersweet event that will be with me for the rest of my life. It was a blessing and an honor to stand next to him as he took his last breath. He was a beautiful man, and he will be missed. So I’m dedicating this post to him… Pa.

Being a survivor of depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, I’ve realized through this struggle with grief, which is very new to me, that I fight with assimilating in order to make everyone around me happy. Along with this realization, I have also discovered that there is absolutely nothing False about any one person’s way of grieving.

Weary Traveler

mental health

travel

As I sit here on the floor next to the closest outlet I could find /because we all know outlets are like gold among airports/ I reflect on what it means to be a traveler on a Voyage.

A voyage can be many things. A vacation. A business trip. A road trip. A kayaking trip. Mine happened to be a business trip, and while some might lose sight of the positive aspects of a business trip – this trip has reminded me how blessed I am.

Blessing #1: I have a company willing to invest their time and money in me and furthering my education on the products I deal with as a graphic designer for them. I love my job /not every day is perfect, but for the most part, I’m in love/ and always look for way to improve my view of what I work with.

Proposal for Purpose

mental health

passion

Now, finding a Purpose for things is easy. A hose brings water from one place to another. A lawn mower cuts the grass. Goggles keep water out of your eyes. A personal purpose is another story. If you feel like a fish out of water — you’re not alone.

I’ve struggled greatly with this, especially through my times of deep depression. As I begin crawling out of my deep, dark hole – I see how important understanding what my purpose is. Yet, there seems to be a huge learning curve. I have no idea where to start.