Leaning In

mental health

Leaning into my anxiety

What this looks like: approaching an event, topic, or person that produces nervousness, in spite of the negative feelings I know will come from the encounter.
Why it’s uncomfortable: the unknown. Wondering whether I will have the right thing to say, sound like an idiot, or make a fool of myself. Where the unknown might ignite one person, it pulls me apart. It takes a lot of energy to face my anxiety and endure what comes next.
Why it’s healthy to lean in: growth. I’ve realized recently how incredibly important it is to work through uncomfortable feelings. Navigating my way through those feelings allows me to grow mentally and continue to put tools in my toolbox. Almost every uncomfortable situation I’ve been in has a silver lining worth fighting for.

Leaning into my extroversion

What this looks like: saying ‘Yes.’ to situations involving other humans in spite of the fear within my soul.
Why it’s uncomfortable: I am an introvert through and through, being around others drains me, it doesn’t fill my cup up. It’s uncomfortable because other humans tend to make me uncomfortable. And even thinking of saying ‘Yes.’ to a lunch or brainstorm session draws up some agonizing feelings.
Why it’s healthy to lean in: positive experiences. Almost every situation I’ve said yes to, and willingly shown up to ends with some positive lessons, conversations, or events. In my opinion it’s worth the discomfort to grow as a human being.

Leaning into my positivity

What this looks like: being positive even when it seems like there isn’t anything to be positive about.
Why it’s uncomfortable: sometimes, I’m so terrified, it’s hard to be positive. Positivity is difficult to ignite when there is so much negativity in the world. And in our current situation, it seems people thrive on negativity. It’s uncomfortable because it goes against the grain.
Why it’s healthy to lean in: i never know whose listening. Someone might really need that positivity so they can lean into something they’re uncomfortable with. With positivity I can partner with the world’s good vibes in order to break down those barriers built by negativity.

All of this to say – it’s important work to be uncomfortable, and leaning into what scares me makes me uncomfortable. And, if I know where these uncomfortable feelings are coming from, I can be better prepared to learn from and work through them. Growth is important, no matter how much or how little, growth is a win that anyone can claim.

Let’s lean in.

Why The Unicorn Is My Spirit Animal

Uncategorized

The story of my life is an elusive one. Some parts ai remember, other parts are locked in a prison far far away. I don’t mind it. I just figure some parts aren’t supposed to surface until just the right time.

Other memories pop up like fire crackers when I’m least expecting them. I imagine a unicorn transcends time. It’s cool all the time. I like to think the unicorn is tough on the outside while on the inside, it is filled with confetti-like glitter. Sometimes, that glitter is all sitting at the bottom like pennies at the bottom of a piggy bank, but sometimes, when something super magical happens, it floats around like balloons at a party.

3 Peace Producers You Need

mental health

unicorn_dividers3

I needed to release things today. Let go of them. Say ‘hit the road jack, and don’t come back.’ The willing release of things that don’t serve you is a practice that reaps positive rewards. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Here are 3 things that help me find, produce, and keep my peace:
• Letting go. Life is going to happen whether I worry about it or not. Often times, I find a lot of my anxiety comes from trying to control too much. Now, it’s human nature for me to try to control, so learning to let go can sometimes be similar to pulling teeth. But, when I get that balance between the future, and the past, it equals the present, and being in the present is worth all the toil and trouble to get there. Surprisingly, letting go offers me a sense of stability, the complete opposite of what I think it would offer. This stability grows into contentment, and contentment grows into a vast and structured peace.

Anxiety: The Good Space

mental health

unicorn_dividers

A large part of my anxiety comes from my ‘hurry-up’ offense, my ‘point A to point B’, my ‘get to the finish line as fast as I can’. So many times, I catch myself focusing so incredibly hard on what the finish will feel like, that I completely lose touch with the journey to get to the finish, which is where the magic happens.

My yoga practice forced me to take a long, easy, quiet look at that journey, that magic, today. Of course, I had no idea I needed to slow down and appreciate where I was until I was frustrated on my mat throwing a tantrum, because that’s just how I roll. #stubbornashell

I Battle Anxiety, Don’t Tell Me to Relax.

mental health

unicorn_dividers5-2Anxiety is a mental illness, and I get to battle it daily (along with many others).

TRUTH (a wonderful infographic to read, if you’re interested in more understanding can be found at the Mental Health America website:
NO. It’s not nervousness about a coming event.
NO. It’s not from too much caffeine consumption.
NO. It’s not attention-seeking.
YES. It’s me analyzing EVERYTHING.
YES. It’s a negative voice that follows me EVERYWHERE.
YES. I am constantly overcoming fears and worries to battle it.
And no, I’m not ashamed (nor should you be). This is real. Let’s talk about it.

Dealing with BPD: Don’t Touch My Naptime

mental health

unicorn_dividers

I stumbled across a Pinterest post that struck a chord. First, let’s get the basics down:

Yes. I’m diagnosed with Bipolar.
Yes. My bipolar is paired with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
No. I do not use my diagnosis as an excuse, but rather as a challenge to change the discussion around mental illness. It’s not a taboo subject. Do not be ashamed. And don’t be afraid to ask questions!

One Year, Our Year

mental health

unicorn_dividers5-1

Our very first wedding anniversary.

It’s hard for me to believe a year, 365 days, has already come, and that we’ve survived a year of marriage already. This year has NOT been easy, pretty, or fun. Honestly, it’s been a shit show.

We’ve dealt with death of a loved one, unemployment, instability, growing in our faith, and financial hardship. I know we both expected to work at this, but never expected it to take this much work.

Distorted Reality

mental health

unicorn_dividers3

Hello beautiful writing community. I’ve been out of commission for a minute.

My husband’s grandfather, a man who I had the pleasure of getting close to, Pa – passed away July 1st. It was a bittersweet event that will be with me for the rest of my life. It was a blessing and an honor to stand next to him as he took his last breath. He was a beautiful man, and he will be missed. So I’m dedicating this post to him… Pa.

Being a survivor of depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, I’ve realized through this struggle with grief, which is very new to me, that I fight with assimilating in order to make everyone around me happy. Along with this realization, I have also discovered that there is absolutely nothing False about any one person’s way of grieving.

Weary Traveler

mental health

unicorn_dividers2

As I sit here on the floor next to the closest outlet I could find /because we all know outlets are like gold among airports/ I reflect on what it means to be a traveler on a Voyage.

A voyage can be many things. A vacation. A business trip. A road trip. A kayaking trip. Mine happened to be a business trip, and while some might lose sight of the positive aspects of a business trip – this trip has reminded me how blessed I am.

Blessing #1: I have a company willing to invest their time and money in me and furthering my education on the products I deal with as a graphic designer for them. I love my job /not every day is perfect, but for the most part, I’m in love/ and always look for way to improve my view of what I work with.