What this looks like: approaching an event, topic, or person that produces nervousness, in spite of the negative feelings I know will come from the encounter. Why it’s uncomfortable: the unknown. Wondering whether I will have the right thing to say, sound like an idiot, or make a fool of myself. Where the unknown might ignite one person, it pulls me apart. It takes a lot of energy to face my anxiety and endure what comes next. Why it’s healthy to lean in: growth. I’ve realized recently how incredibly important it is to work through uncomfortable feelings. Navigating my way through those feelings allows me to grow mentally and continue to put tools in my toolbox. Almost every uncomfortable situation I’ve been in has a silver lining worth fighting for.
Leaning into my extroversion
What this looks like: saying ‘Yes.’ to situations involving other humans in spite of the fear within my soul. Why it’s uncomfortable: I am an introvert through and through, being around others drains me, it doesn’t fill my cup up. It’s uncomfortable because other humans tend to make me uncomfortable. And even thinking of saying ‘Yes.’ to a lunch or brainstorm session draws up some agonizing feelings. Why it’s healthy to lean in: positive experiences. Almost every situation I’ve said yes to, and willingly shown up to ends with some positive lessons, conversations, or events. In my opinion it’s worth the discomfort to grow as a human being.
Leaning into my positivity
What this looks like: being positive even when it seems like there isn’t anything to be positive about. Why it’s uncomfortable: sometimes, I’m so terrified, it’s hard to be positive. Positivity is difficult to ignite when there is so much negativity in the world. And in our current situation, it seems people thrive on negativity. It’s uncomfortable because it goes against the grain. Why it’s healthy to lean in: i never know whose listening. Someone might really need that positivity so they can lean into something they’re uncomfortable with. With positivity I can partner with the world’s good vibes in order to break down those barriers built by negativity.
All of this to say – it’s important work to be uncomfortable, and leaning into what scares me makes me uncomfortable. And, if I know where these uncomfortable feelings are coming from, I can be better prepared to learn from and work through them. Growth is important, no matter how much or how little, growth is a win that anyone can claim.
As humans, we observe so many things every single day. We see love, hate, kindness, and negativity. I can’t imagine the hit our physical and emotional bodies take because of each one of these things we take in. Both in a positive and negative way.
I’d like to talk about some of the things I see.
I see a puppy who is getting up in age but still loves her belly rubs, playing tug of war, and going for walks. Yes, she gets sore, but she erupts with happiness the moment she sees me or my husband. I want to have more of that happiness in my life. She’s a great reminder that it can happen.
The story of my life is an elusive one. Some parts ai remember, other parts are locked in a prison far far away. I don’t mind it. I just figure some parts aren’t supposed to surface until just the right time.
Other memories pop up like fire crackers when I’m least expecting them. I imagine a unicorn transcends time. It’s cool all the time. I like to think the unicorn is tough on the outside while on the inside, it is filled with confetti-like glitter. Sometimes, that glitter is all sitting at the bottom like pennies at the bottom of a piggy bank, but sometimes, when something super magical happens, it floats around like balloons at a party.
I needed to release things today. Let go of them. Say ‘hit the road jack, and don’t come back.’ The willing release of things that don’t serve you is a practice that reaps positive rewards. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Here are 3 things that help me find, produce, and keep my peace: • Letting go. Life is going to happen whether I worry about it or not. Often times, I find a lot of my anxiety comes from trying to control too much. Now, it’s human nature for me to try to control, so learning to let go can sometimes be similar to pulling teeth. But, when I get that balance between the future, and the past, it equals the present, and being in the present is worth all the toil and trouble to get there. Surprisingly, letting go offers me a sense of stability, the complete opposite of what I think it would offer. This stability grows into contentment, and contentment grows into a vast and structured peace.
Anxiety is a mental illness, and I get to battle it daily (along with many others).
TRUTH (a wonderful infographic to read, if you’re interested in more understanding can be found at the Mental Health America website:
• NO. It’s not nervousness about a coming event.
• NO. It’s not from too much caffeine consumption.
• NO. It’s not attention-seeking.
• YES. It’s me analyzing EVERYTHING.
• YES. It’s a negative voice that follows me EVERYWHERE.
• YES. I am constantly overcoming fears and worries to battle it.
And no, I’m not ashamed (nor should you be). This is real. Let’s talk about it.
As I sit here on the floor next to the closest outlet I could find /because we all know outlets are like gold among airports/ I reflect on what it means to be a traveler on a Voyage.
A voyage can be many things. A vacation. A business trip. A road trip. A kayaking trip. Mine happened to be a business trip, and while some might lose sight of the positive aspects of a business trip – this trip has reminded me how blessed I am.
Blessing #1: I have a company willing to invest their time and money in me and furthering my education on the products I deal with as a graphic designer for them. I love my job /not every day is perfect, but for the most part, I’m in love/ and always look for way to improve my view of what I work with.
Well, if that isn’t a loaded topic, I don’t know what is.
But, we can do this, together. Here we go.
Transformation can be a difficult thing to imagine, see, and especially do. At this moment in my life, I’ve felt that I’ve been on the verge of transformation for some time. Now, things around me, my relationships, my hobbies, I’ve seen them transform— now, I believe it’s my turn. I want, more than anything, to safely lose the weight I’ve packed on over the years, and keep it off. Before that happens though, I now know that it can’t be just another fad diet or complete restriction—it has to come from within me.
Not just any discipline, but self discipline. It’s said that self discipline is the key to utter happiness. Self discipline is not something learned overnight, or downloaded off the internet (believe me, I’ve tried everything!) – it takes lots of practice, repetition and falling down and getting back up.
So let’s put our big kid pants on and give it a try – shall we? I mean seriously – nothing worth going for is easy. And if this is the key to life happiness, then heck yeah!
Set yourself up for success: I’ve been reading that it’s best if you just kick out the distractions. Whatever that is for you, be it television, that trusty old smartphone, or, like me – food – get rid of it. Toss it. Pitch it. Turn it off! By getting out from under those things – it helps to allow a deeper sense of focus on what’s important.
As I sit here propped up in bed (I should be sleeping, but my nails need to dry some more – that’s my excuse anyway) – I’m listening to a storm roll through. I LOVE STORMS. Yes, I would be a storm chaser if I could switch careers.
As I listen though – I was prompted to think about how big my God is, and how in the midst of life’s storms – He’s got me. Let’s study Job for some references to the weather and how big God is:
• Job 28:25-27: “When He imparted weight to the wind And meted out the waters by measure, When He set a limit for the rain And a course for the thunderbolt, Then He saw it and declared it; He established it and also searched it out.” // How comforting is it that He has a plan and path for each rain drop, and each bolt of lightning, and crash of thunder? How much more than does He care about the direction and path for my life.
My heels are sore, my brow is sweaty, my back is sore – but, our house is clean. Boy does that feel good. We do have company coming over tomorrow, but it needed to be done anyway, with all of our wedding stuff still stuffed in every single corner. We did it. And now – I have a desk – in an office – that’s clean. My sewing machine has space on it, there are reminders of our wonderful wedding all over the place, but placed just right.