The story of my life is an elusive one. Some parts ai remember, other parts are locked in a prison far far away. I don’t mind it. I just figure some parts aren’t supposed to surface until just the right time.
Other memories pop up like fire crackers when I’m least expecting them. I imagine a unicorn transcends time. It’s cool all the time. I like to think the unicorn is tough on the outside while on the inside, it is filled with confetti-like glitter. Sometimes, that glitter is all sitting at the bottom like pennies at the bottom of a piggy bank, but sometimes, when something super magical happens, it floats around like balloons at a party.
A large part of my anxiety comes from my ‘hurry-up’ offense, my ‘point A to point B’, my ‘get to the finish line as fast as I can’. So many times, I catch myself focusing so incredibly hard on what the finish will feel like, that I completely lose touch with the journey to get to the finish, which is where the magic happens.
My yoga practice forced me to take a long, easy, quiet look at that journey, that magic, today. Of course, I had no idea I needed to slow down and appreciate where I was until I was frustrated on my mat throwing a tantrum, because that’s just how I roll. #stubbornashell
I stumbled across a Pinterest post that struck a chord. First, let’s get the basics down:
• Yes. I’m diagnosed with Bipolar.
• Yes. My bipolar is paired with depression, anxiety, and OCD.
• No. I do not use my diagnosis as an excuse, but rather as a challenge to change the discussion around mental illness. It’s not a taboo subject. Do not be ashamed. And don’t be afraid to ask questions!
So, I’ve been totally struggling with life lately. Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE being married to my husband, and just married life in general. But, I’m trying to figure myself out you know? I just can’t seem to get it… but I’m pretty sure I’m on the verge. And I heard something today on my way to work that totally changed my perspective.
I do understand that it’s not about the finish line, and that it’s more about the journey, so maybe this is just a step in the right direction, but, at least it’s a step!